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Handbags at twenty paces, aimed at my head

So I get slammed in today's paper for being a mysoginistic chauvinistic pig. And perhaps quite rightly so for a third of them. The original article in Contradictheory was pretty harsh. But I suppose I should try to explain my end of it.

I did get some forewarning of this when a close friend of mine called me up earlier in the week and asked "were you purposely trying to be controversial?". Well, yes I was - I have lately written too many 'feelgood, dogood' articles and it was about time I shook my quilly behind a bit. But judging by the response, I probably crossed a line. Or a raging torrent of river.

Before I begin, I apologise to anybody I offended. It wasn't meant to attack anyone in particular, merely the notion that staying beautiful is a good enough reason to not try and protect yourself. In case the tone of the article wasn't clear, I was NOT seriously suggesting that people carry male escorts with them wherever they go. (Well, for some women, only if the escort is me, and it's not because I want to protect their handbags anyway.)

The intent at the beginning was to say, don't carry handbags which are easily snatched, find other ways to pocket your valuables. But with every single girl that I talked to about this, the conversation always ended at this: it'll make me look ugly. Would every woman in the world who was asked this give the same answer? I doubt it. I have a six foot tall Canadian friend who whacked someone on the head with the attacker's helmet when he tried to rob her bag. And probably because of some Canuckian proverb about something worth doing once is worth doing over and over again with gusto, he probably got hit again. I think she'd say, "I'll take my handbag and my chances, thank you very much". And good for her too.

But, everyone girl I talked to about this in those few days mentioned it. To me, you can't really be that concerned about snatch thefts if "it'll make me look ugly" is your reason to not try something to stop or avoid it. "It's impractical", or "I don't think the risk is worth the hassle", or "I enjoy the practicality a fashionable handbag affords me, and woe betide anybody who tries to come between me and my carrying purse" would all be worthy answers. Yet, I tell you this: put a stop watch in your hand, propose to a woman that they can put their things in their pockets, and you get the 'ugly' word within sixty seconds.

Well, this got me mad when I heard this. It felt like a conversation at cross-purposes. Of course it's possible to go around without a handbag, or at least only a handbag with non-valuables in it. But the impasse at which this notion would not be entertained seemed to be 'bulky pockets'. Vanity is not always a bad thing, but when it pushes practicality aside, I don't like it. I feel the same way about superstition. There may be a place for it, but not at the expense of common sense.

So am I treating women differently from men in this case? Yes. So I am chauvanistic. Do I hate women for it? No, of course not. I get frustrated and think it's silly, though. And I am a pig? I ask you to not consider my shape and size and manners at the dinner table when you ask that, and so, no.

That friend of mine who chided me earlier in the week got it right. Am I suggesting that if you don't want a motorcycle stolen, then you shouldn't drive a motorcycle? Yes, that argument stands. But I think people who have motorcycles don't necessarily have much of a choice in finding something cheap that takes them around town quickly. And the risk of getting a motorcycle stolen, although much higher than handbags, is still low, especially if you take care to lock it up properly.

There is nothing wrong in being defensive in trying to protect your property. You lock your cars and set alarms. You hold your child's hand when crossing the road. You put your valuables somewhere safe and don't carry it around on your shoulder. Makes sense to me.

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posted on Sunday, July 27, 2008 - permalink
Comments:
Don't know why you feel the need to defend yourself dude. Your opinion is pretty valid.
# posted by Anonymous Ian : 02 August, 2008 01:44
 
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Now I'm international!

Some of you may have noticed that I have been promoting Ghost a little. I have no shame. I freely admit that. I even wrote that down in a national newspaper column. But in fact, the column wasn't really about television, or about the business of writing; it was about the serious business of how racism limits both opportunities for employers, and for the general public. I contrast that with the hiring policy of Popiah Pictures, and of how every one of different races just get down to the business of doing good work. They even gave it a nice title: A ghostly glimmer of hope. Positive, forward thinking, optimistic.

I guess I must have hit a chord or something, because guess what I see in a newspaper when I'm in Singapore? My name, and bits of my article on page A9 of Monday's issue of My Paper. It's strategically placed right above a piece about how Pak Lah's declining popularity, including the issue of race relations. What headline does my piece get? Why should ethnicity still matter - on Malaysian job opportunities. To me, this headline has a slightly different spin on it - it sounds like I'm complaining about the situation. Well, surely the article will put them right, right?

Erm. Perhaps not. Because in transferring the article, they also edited out all references to the TV show and to Popiah Pictures. As a result, the tone is a little more negative - a complaint without a balm to soothe it.

Don't get me wrong. I'm very happy to now be internationally syndicated. I didn't even know it was happening. I'm flattered like a bemused pancake under a steamroller. And I'm very comfortable with how the editing team at the Star have treated me. It's just that others who read My Paper might get the wrong impression of what I think.

At least 'Dzof Azmi' is a unique Googlable phrase.

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posted on Wednesday, February 06, 2008 - permalink
Comments:
Can you quickly come up with your posts for eps2 and 3 of Ghost, now that u can wiew them online while u're abroad?

BTW, check out http://ms.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghost and help fill up missing cast info ;)
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 19 February, 2008 17:09
 
No need to be ashamed :) It's quite good - trying to catch as many episodes as I can - and I admit I'm getting quite a crush on nazrudin.
# posted by Blogger savante : 12 March, 2008 21:03
 
hmm..
i can't seem to locate what your blog is REALLy about.
maybe i'll read through it again later.
Anyways, thanks for stopping by my blog!
# posted by Anonymous GnomeFan : 21 April, 2008 17:09
 
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All Thai'd Up about democracy

The latest issue of Contradictheory talked about the recent referendum for the new Thai constitution. Actually, what I really wanted to talk about was the poor level of debate in politics, especially of that in Malaysia, but the Thai situation was more current.

However, I spent so much time discussing Thai politics, that it didn't really leave me much room to whine about the Malaysian side of things (Which is probably a good thing - rambling is not a virtue for columnists). It seems to me that a country that has been practicing democracy for fifty years now should be in a better position to test its leaders. Admittedly, familiarity doesn't breed proficiency, as the situation in the last two US elections can testify to, but still, we shouldn't succumb to politicians' appeals for the lowest common denominator.

The results for the Thai referendum have now appeared, and although a slimmish majority voted for it, there was significant opposition from the north-east of the country. And those voting against were demonstrating - you guessed it - pro-Thaksin sentiments.

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posted on Monday, August 20, 2007 - permalink
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Contradictheory: Football and Reading

I am aware that this blog is rapidly becoming an advert for my Contradictheory articles in The Star. I have no problems with this, the more exposure, the better. At least if you like the articles, that is.

The last few weeks saw me writing on two of my passions: Football and Reading. I now realise I am rapidly running out of topics to write about. It won't be long I'm sure before a piece on Audrey Hepburn appears (although in her case, a picture says ten thousand words, so all I have to do to fill a quota is print a photo of her eyes, I guess).

The bit on football was inspired by our national team's insipid performance in the Asian Cup. I ranted and railed from my seat in the stadium, but I think nothing short of a combustory hara-kiri exhibition would have been able to change the course of the game (at least a provisional draw would have been better than what we got). Nevertheless, I really do think it's important we give support to our national team, regardless of their ability.

There was a response in the next week's letters column; unfortunately it addressed a completely different issue, and I don't even agree with it. Basically, the problem with football in Malaysia isn't that there are too many games, or that there are too many teams. The problem is we have not enough international players.

Last weekend's article on the future of books has already provoked a response. Thor (of Skoob Books fame) called my mother up and called me a "viper" for suggesting that the writing was on the electronic wall for physical books. I like that, I've never been compared to a muscle-engined sports car before.

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posted on Tuesday, August 07, 2007 - permalink
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Contradictheory: Stop Dreaming, Go See The World

More than one post in a day, must be some kind of record.

So, this weekend's Contradictheory is about travelling. Or is it? Well, it's actually about one of my bugbears. I can't stand people who complain that they don't have what they want, but make no effort to reach out for it. But, I understand that sometimes people need a gentle nudge to persuade them to peer over the ledge of life and take it in in all its vista.

Mainly it's about getting the guts to do something different. Or building up to it. And that it's important to always pack a sarong.

...more

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posted on Sunday, June 24, 2007 - permalink
Comments:
"I can't stand people who complain that they don't have what they want, but make no effort to reach out for it."

Why do I feel like you're talking about me?
# posted by Anonymous Sashi : 25 June, 2007 09:40
 
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What's new, procrastinating blogger?

Just a quick glance at the dates, and you will see that I haven't updated this blog for a very long time.

So, the usual list of things done so far will need to suffice for now:
This list may still grow...

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posted on Sunday, June 24, 2007 - permalink
Comments:
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# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 26 August, 2007 05:56
 
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Contradictheory: Relaks, Brader

Another fortnight, another article. Maybe, perhaps, you may wonder how much of what I write stays in. Well, this week I over-wrote slightly by about 200 words, and they edited accordingly. All the 'smart, funny' comments (read 'what the heck is he trying to say?') were the first to go, but they pretty much kept the essence of it.

This was a strange one to write, because I commented about the Amazing Race Asia, so the first draft I had said, "...the finalists for the race...". Thursday's episode was aired and I hurriedly changed it to "...the winners of the race...", and added another paragraph.

They also like to change the title. Theirs was "Relaxing our way to the top". Mine was "Relaks, Brader". Not a biggie, but I like mine better.
Relaxing our way to the top

CONGRATULATIONS to Joe Jer and Zabrina, the Malaysian pair who recently won the first Asian edition of the Amazing Race. Winning US$100,000 (RM350,000) isn’t something to sneeze at, but more importantly, they managed to overcome tremendous obstacles to grab first place. So, what was their secret? That’s a tough question to answer.
...more

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posted on Tuesday, February 06, 2007 - permalink
Comments:
you're always so hard on yourself la..
How have you been?
# posted by Blogger Chels : 11 February, 2007 19:24
 
Oh.. I like 'Relaks, Brader' better too...
# posted by Blogger Chels : 11 February, 2007 19:26
 
hi,came across your site on my research on trans siberian. Very impress that a fellow malaysian travelled overland to europe. Haven't met many travellers from Malaysia during my years in europe.. well done! From a fellow malaysian living now in sweden...
# posted by Blogger hippylouise : 31 March, 2007 21:44
 
dzof, thanks for the open source piece and check out my acknowledgement here.
# posted by Blogger Hasan : 20 April, 2007 00:39
 
I wonder if being selamba will also wins the race..
# posted by Blogger surianee : 23 May, 2007 16:13
 
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Now the whole world thinks I'm a thief

The second issue (copy? installment? Me brain works mushy on Sundays) of Contradictheory has appeared today. In it, I talk about how great it is to be able to download TV shows and movies over the Internet. For free. Naturally people will think that I practice what I preach.

Of course, those in the know will recognise Bittorrent. But there are also TV stations that provide their stuff online (did you know that RTM is availabe as online stream?).

And if your IP address says it's from the USA, NBC will make available their shows to your PC, including every episode so far of Heroes.

So, not all stuff online is illegal, and some of the Powers That Be are beginning to see the advantage of making it available on the net. Now if only all the PTBs thought that way. I'm not saying they have to give it away for free, but if you make it easy and make it cheap, then people will come by.

See it first – on the Internet

If you know how, the latest movie, TV series or song is only a download away.

ASK a Malaysian teenager what their current favourite TV shows are, and you might get an answer that includes Heroes, Friday Night Lights and Ugly Betty.

The funny thing about these three shows is that none of them are showing in Malaysia at the moment.
...more

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posted on Sunday, January 21, 2007 - permalink
Comments:
Congrats on Contradictheory! And I loved your article today. Keep up the awesome work :)
# posted by Anonymous Izad : 21 January, 2007 20:29
 
don't you think its like tv then? its free cuz we have to switch channels during the adverts..having said that it is best to let the lawyers of youtube worry the degree of wrongness..even if they get sued it'll only cost like about, maybe, oh my,let me see.. 2 percent of their revenue anyway?
# posted by Blogger surianee : 23 January, 2007 09:41
 
in short i refuse to be called a thief :D
# posted by Blogger surianee : 23 January, 2007 09:46
 
Hi, dzof, came here via Mayakirana. Congrats on your new column in Starmag. How is your name pronounced? Is it like Dissolve or is the D silent?
# posted by Blogger Lydia Teh : 29 January, 2007 11:27
 
RTM available as online stream? The question is, "Do we really want to watch RTM channels?"

Blerghhh.. Heh.

P/S: AM suffering from Realiti withdrawal symptoms. Will there be another season, ever?
# posted by Blogger Vernon : 05 July, 2007 14:24
 
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Contradictheory debuts

The more eagle-eyed of you that know me may have noticed a familiar face waaaay down in the bottom left-hand corner in the StarMag section of today's Star. Yes, it's an old photo of me before I gained weight. More importantly, it's next to a column with my name next to it.

Geddit? Column? My name? Can you say, "will be in regular print"?

Yes, folks. I have finally taken a foot out of the cloistered and relatively anonymous world of script-writing and planted it firmly in the spotlighted waters of op-eds. I have, in fact, been given no set areas to write on - a free rein on my reign, as it were.

Of course, it hasn't all been rosy. I tried very hard to get them to put my favourite photo of me, but they insisted on something a little more recognisable. They tried to tell me it was a good thing, but I know better the privilieges and advantages of anonymity. I did manage to get them to not mention my educational history, though. I'm happier that way, it's a Dzof thang, you understand.

I also suggested the name, Contradictheory. I would love to say that it's because I believe the duality of man represents most of life, or that I'm always in for a good fight. Honestly though, it's because I like puns.

Today's article is partially based on a post I wrote almost a year ago, and I have to say I enjoy reading the earlier one better. I think it has something to do with the fact that I was tired, annoyed, hot, sweaty and naked when I wrote the earlier piece. Indeed, how can you bare your soul without baring your body?

Anyway, I suppose you want to read it:
Suffering for the write stuff

WHEN I mention to people that I am a writer, the reaction is nonplussed.

Writing strikes people as one of these amazingly idealistic but impractical things to do. It’s not really a way of earning a living. You’re so lucky, they say. You sit in front of your PC and write. You put words down, and they pay you money for that. In Ringgit, even. You’re so lucky.

They call me all sorts of things. Romantic. Imaginative. Inspiring. One word they don’t use – but I’m pretty sure many think of – is “lazy”.

...more at The Star website


Update: (14 Jan 2007) Two (thankfully positive) responses (here and here) were published in today's Star. It's a good feeling to find that there are people who identified with what I wrote, and makes up for the fact that some people didn't really like it. Happy me.

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posted on Sunday, January 07, 2007 - permalink
Comments:
Congrats, dude! Looking forward to more every weekend now..
# posted by Anonymous sashi : 08 January, 2007 09:21
 
Every fortnight, actually. But thanks for the support.

Actually, the article's gotten some negative feedback, so at the moment I'm feeling all... what's that word again when you feel like vomiting in a dark, small bucket?
# posted by Blogger Dzof : 08 January, 2007 23:00
 
don't like you la.. You never reply text messages...
# posted by Blogger Chels : 09 January, 2007 17:26
 
Read your article, congratulation.
# posted by Blogger wan : 16 January, 2007 07:30
 
congratulations... a celebration. a cuppa tea and a slice of cake calls for a meet up!

chels.. dzof needs to be reminded that his inbox is full , which means that the will have to delete some of his messages, such that he will be able to receive new messages.. so

dzof.. please let go of your old messages... such that new ones can come through! :)

hugs and love!
# posted by Blogger juliana : 17 January, 2007 16:25
 
Hi Dzof
Came here because your mom pointed me to your blog. I remember you, from the days you used to contribute your book reviews to i-asianwomen.com. Anyway, I am no longer with that outfit but I still keep in touch with your mom regularly. She told me to check out your blog. And here I am. Hey, negative comments or not, you're a columnist... and I can say, hey, I actually know a columnist in The Star. Cheers, Krista
# posted by Anonymous Krista : 17 January, 2007 17:23
 
hie nice articale on the star for the sake of contradicting posted a message above still ther misplaced but ummm... message me? Need hot heated debates to breate... My parents are pushovers they hardly put up a fight or a stand on any issues...
# posted by Blogger Jason : 11 November, 2007 14:50
 
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